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Being in San Diego has been a really awesome experience so far and I can’t wait to put all of my experiences into words for lots of reasons (sharing with you coming in at #1).
But before I dive into all of the amazing things that we have experienced in our time spent here, so far, I want to touch on something super crappy that we experienced on our flight here.
Here it goes…
Boarding the plane outside of Louisville was so exciting. This is something our family has been looking forward to for several months. For most people flying is just a hassle, but for our family this was an EVENT that we couldn’t wait to take part in together. I spent lots of time looking into what to bring on the flight for the kids to occupy them on our flight. I managed to get enough of everything and overall our kids were very satisfied for the duration of the flight. I even had enough snacks to offer part of my stash to the Mama with the 14 month old in front of me who had run out. But to those of you who don’t have kids, to those of you who have kids and just don’t understand other kids, to those of you who just really dislike kids and to those of you who hate kids…. I have to tell you some things. As parents, bringing our kids out amongst the people, it really gives so many of us lots of anxiety because of things like this.
As I found my seat on the plane I overheard the lady next to me talking casually with the people in front of her about how she was so ready for this flight to start and then I heard something that absolutely made my stomach turn. This woman stated “I don’t have kids; actually I hate kids. I don’t like them at all”. I was shocked at her comments because I was sitting right there beside her with my adorable little kidlets (who were being angels) as well as 3 other families with toddlers. I brushed the comment off and continued to get my family settled in. For most of the flight, with the exception of the noisy, unsteady take off my kids did fabulous. Aspen was enjoying her sticker book and Gman was nuzzled up to his milk maid for most of the time until he fell to sleep. But… for the baby in front of us, it was another story. She was a lap child (like Gman) and being held in one spot for 3.5 hours was not what she had in mind. Her mom, who looked very young to me, exhibited a level of patience I highly doubt I had at her age and tried her best. Unfortunately baby girl was not satisfied and continued to cry out. It was a mix between happy squeals, anxiety filled grunts, and then a very testy scream.
I couldn’t help but notice “Baby Hater” from the corner of my eye. She couldn’t see “Little Mama” and “Baby Girl” who were sitting in front of me so I guess she thought she would vent her frustrations with harassing hand gestures (i.e throwing her hands up in the air, smacking her magazine down on her table, jamming her window shade closed) as well as staring at me as she talked to her husband about what kind of pieces of shit people would ever bring their kids on a plane to scream. Not to forget all of the eye rolling and bug eyes. Do you get the picture? This went on for 3.5 hours. Even when baby girl would giggle she seemed perturbed. It was so uncomfortable and there was absolutely nothing we could do about it. I wanted to crawl under the seat with my kids and hide, but unfortunately that space was already taken up by my bags.
Eventually (about 1.5 hours into the flight) husband took Gman from my lap and let him finish his slumber in his arms. This allowed me the chance to dig into my insane bag of snacks and pull some things out for Little Mama upfront to give Baby Girl. For a while it slowed her crying and what I believed to be anxiety fueled squealing down to a minimum. Little Mama, another lady sitting beside Little Mama, and myself took turns holding and entertaining baby girl and eventually we made it through the flight and got off without Baby Hater having to get out of her seat and serve any of us with an ass whipping.
Whewww I was glad to make it out of there… and to have seen what I thought would be the last of the 40 something tantrum throwing, baby hating, diva. Or so I thought!
I got off the plane with my family and retrieved our stroller, which had been broken by someone tending to the strollers on the flight. I was freaking out because I knew we were going to be sitting in this airport for over two hours and I didn’t know how we we were going to contain our 13 month old bundle of love. For the first two hours we managed. He crawled around a little, looked through our bags, unzipped things, zipped things back up and bla bla bla (insert other cute thing my baby does on the usual). Then the last 30 minutes.. Just in time for Baby Hater to show back up directly across from me in the line to board the plane again. Gman lost his shit. I mean for real. LOST HIS SHIT. He was screaming, it was so hot, he was fighting sleep, he was bored… and most importantly, he was 13 months old.
I was freaking out because I knew this lady standing across from me had a major issue with crying babies and honestly I can imagine how it must be for someone who doesn’t have kids to have to sit and listen to a miniature being scream. Annoying! I know! It annoyed me too. But what could I do? I was doing my best. I was holding him, rocking him, setting him down to crawl, nursing him, giving him snacks. Nothing was soothing to him, he just needed to sleep.
For the first 12 minutes or so I was trying to sooth G with Baby Hater in mind then I saw her throw her hands in the air as her husband was telling her to calm down as he was smiling at me. Thennnn… I realized she was ranting about ME and GMAN to her husband and all the people around her (who were pretending not to hear her). THEN she dropped a few choice words that sent my blood pressure to an all time high for this flight and they were “THAT FUCKING BABY” and then she looked directly at me, made eye contact, made really freaky bug eyes and mouthed “I don’t care” to me as I was picking my jaw up from the floor.
After that I had to make a decision. Was I going to let husband hold “THAT FUCKING BABY” while I drag Baby Hater out to the runway and tie her down in hopes of plane running over her as it landed or was I going to serve her up a big piece of humble pie?
I went the humble pie route. I minded my business, I kept tending to Gman, but then my mouth started moving involuntarily. I’m pretty sure I probably stuttered as I reached into my bag to find the ear plugs I had bought the night before as I saw Baby Hater coming closer to assume her spot in the line (which was now not across from me but in front of me) and then I said “Excuse me, Ma Ma’am. I know my baby is really a bother and has made this experience really terrible for you so I bought these ear plugs and if you’d like a pair I’d love for you to have them” She acted like she couldn’t hear me but I knew she could hear me because I said it LOUD so I said “Ma’am?” in very inquisitive tone and she responds with “All the babies are bothering me! I hate ALL babies!” I looked around and my husband was shaking his head not in disapproval but just shaking his head because that’s what he does when he’s nervous I guess, the lady beside him says ‘Good job. I’m glad you said that” another lady walks up from across the way where Baby Hater had been standing initially and says ‘Don’t worry about her, she’s just a bitch!” and then the old man in front of me went on to talk about how he had six kids and he knew how it was so I shouldn’t feel bad.
We were finally boarding the plane I saw Baby Hater was taking a seat in the front so I told Aspen to go to the very back and find a seat. We got comfortable and the plane took off and landed as my baby slept without a hiccup.
So… to those of you who don’t have kids, to those of you who have kids and just don’t understand other people’s kids because yours never misbehaved, cried or laughed too much, to those of you who just really dislike kids and to those of you who hate kids. Understand this. I, just like you, am just trying to get from point A TO B. My kids are little but they still deserve the opportunity to see the world, so we will be on those planes. We don’t want them to cry or laugh obnoxiously any more than you do (although seeing them laughing does melt my heart). I’m doing my best with my kids being my #1 and concern and you (the people) coming in at #1.5 and my own comfort dead last. I won’t apologize for my baby being a baby, easily startled, scared by things he can’t understand like loud noises on a plane or turbulence. I promise to always pack enough snacks some for my baby and some for the babies around me if their Mama’s ran out, an extra five to buy you a shot of whiskey and a pair of ear plugs to dull the shrieking sounds of my baby and the patience to to always be humble when you decide to abuse me with looks, words and hand gestures.
(After we finally made it)